So it’s very easy to get caught up in the day to day negativity. I’ve had a bad day. I don’t feel good. I hate my job. My customer yelled at me. My boss yelled at me. My kid ignored me. My candidate didn’t get elected. My book sales suck…
The ‘woe is me’ bit.
We’ve all done it. Especially when talking to friends, you have the need to vent. Generally speaking, that venting takes on all the negative stuff that’s been going on in one’s life. When we catch up with something, it’s just what we tend to do.
I noticed this when chatting with one of my friends a good year or more ago.
We would make a point of having lunch together every other month or so, but we tended to exchange emails a couple times a week. Just general venting, catching up, etc. Looking back over the last few emails with her, I noticed we were both falling into that ‘woe is me’ trap, so I pointed it out to her.
We devised a new rule.
We could vent all we needed – because, let’s face it, we all NEED to vent to someone – but we needed to say at least one thing positive in that same email. We needed to find that silver lining.
Hear me out!! I’m not that obnoxious, optimistic person (though I know sometimes I come off as such), but there is something to be said about our words effecting us. What is that quote again?
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habit.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
There is always something positive to be said if you look hard enough. Things aren’t all bad all the day. It’s a matter of finding those silver linings – those little bits of happiness – that help us through the day. Tis the season – with Thanksgiving looming in just a few days – for us to focus on that which makes us grateful. What makes us happy. What makes us smile.
But don’t keep it to yourself, either. Speak the words. Share your thoughts, your happiness, your love.
A lot of people are very frightened right now. It’s so easy to cling to the negative, but it’s time we start trying to find some of the positive, warm fuzzy stuff.
NOT about the candidate, per se – I mean in general.
I’ve seen a number of people on social media taking to this because of Turkey day – listing one thing for each day that they are grateful for. I’m not asking you to drop 30 things, but why don’t you share a few things that make you smile? Give me one or two. I’ll share some of mine here, too…
- My son – Devlin
- My family – Mother, sister, extended. Love you guys
- My friends – I have some amazing people in my life for which I count myself blessed
- My furbabies – Nothing says loving like being kicked off your bed by your pets. Er, wait…
- The beautiful weather – I love cooler weather, and while it’s been unseasonably warm, no one can deny how beautiful it’s been of late
- My dayjob – Just the fact that I have a job that supports me and my passion is something to be grateful for
- My roulette spin as far as genetics – Somehow, I managed to avoid the worst of it
- My home – There were times I wanted to burn the thing down, but this is my house, and I’ve owned it for 15 years now. I think I’ll keep it a bit longer.
- My dreams – Writing had always been a dream of mine, one that I would strive for. Now I have 2 novels done, a 3rd on its way. Woot-woot! I have ideas for so many more…
- Bigger dreams – More to come on this, but my hope is that a few things will be changing by the end of next year… up, up, and AWAY!
- MY FANS – Dude, I have FANS!! How surreal is that one?? I still sit in awe that people have read and enjoyed my books
- Full moons
- Night skies
- The mist rolling in over the park
- Music – blasting loud with my windows down
- K-Pop/K-Dramas (STOP JUDGING ME!)
- Laughing with my sister over inappropriate jokes (which for us, is all of them…)
- Dinner with friends (and more inappropriate jokes)
- Predicting TV shows with my son (THE BUTLER DID IT!)
- Pillow/blanket forts
- Getting lost in the world of other books
- Plotting with coworkers (over things we would never actually do… but it’s still fun to say)
- Role-playing (dude… I’m a gamer… This HAD to make the list!)
- Nail polish (You’re still judging me…)
- People watching (believe it or not…)
Now your turn… Giving me a silver lining. That little something that helps you get through the day.
And please remember, cling to those silver linings. I know it’s not easy to do. I know life is rough. You will get through it. I have every faith in you that you can make it through the other side. Find a little something, every day, to smile about. Keep on fighting.